Friday, June 10, 2016

This Flower Called Marriage



Dear Jason,

I love this handmade anniversary card that came in the mail for us from my parents today. I appreciate more and more my mom's talent as a nature photographer. This photo she sent to us is so beautiful - with the flower petals overlapping, one blossom resting on the other, the centers of the growing flowers filled with life-giving pollen. 

This photo reminds me of our marriage on the days it is at its best, but ironically, it is often-times that those good marriage days are some of the hardest "life" days. 

I think about how we are entangled with each other, our lives woven together over the last 28 years since we met, our history overlapping like these flower petals. We are steadier in a storm because we are standing together, even in the times we ourselves feel like pushing or pulling away, even when our circumstances attempt to push or pull us away. Being interwoven almost forces us to persevere together, in order to survive at all. I reminisce about how we each have had in the past and will again have in the future, our stronger times and our weaker times. (Thankfully, usually not at the SAME time!) During those times, each of us knows we can lean on the other, lay our head against a loving shoulder and feel supported, even in the times when there are no words to help. Sometimes, just being able to rest on each other renews our strength to continue the climb.

I gaze at the yellow center of the flowers, where the pollen's purpose is to give life. I know you will agree we discovered early on that we will surely fail each other often - that neither of us are perfect, and that neither one of us can be the other's savior- no matter how much we desire to rescue each other. I believe we have both learned that putting each other at our center is as destructive as putting our own self or our children or our finances or our health in that most central place. More importantly, I believe we have learned individually, and as a couple, to keep God at our center, because God is where our marriage draws its life from, and God is the source for our relationship to create seeds that grow fruit such as love, consideration, patience, and faithfulness.

I sit here journaling on this night before our 22nd anniversary, contemplating this beautiful photo, my mind flooded by this entire garden of thoughts accompanying the sweet sentiment from my parents. I am overwhelmed by the glimpses of truth revealed in such a small piece of creation. I am fully graced by God's love for both of us and for our family. I am grateful for the gift He has blessed me with by planting you and me together, so that we may share deep roots in the rich soil of His goodness. I know that we will continue to weather the fierce storms and the burning heat of each drought, and I know that we will also continue to soak up the gentle rains and life-light of the sun. I know that we will thrive together, all the while leaning on each other, and faithfully keeping our faces hope-filled and upturned to gaze at Him. 

My prayer for you this next year, my husband, is from Ephesians 3:14-19, "When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will continue to make His home in your heart as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."

And my prayer for our marriage follows in verse 20, 
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

Happy Anniversary,
I love you always.

“I have heard all about you, Lord. I am filled with awe by your amazing works. In this time of our deep need, help us again as you did in years gone by... remember your mercy.”
Habakkuk 3:2 NLT

"They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."
Jeremiah 17:8 NLT

“I will send you the seasonal rains. The land will then yield its crops, and the trees of the field will produce their fruit... I will walk among you; I will be your God, and you will be my people.”
Leviticus 26:4,12 NLT

                    June 11, 1994


Another Anniversary Post: